One of those days...

Ugh. It has been one of those days. Actually, it has been one of those weeks. It seems like no matter how hard I try, nothing is going right. From the internet going down at work, to the jeans I wanted online selling out, to grumpy tenants driving us crazy, to me having a cavity (or two)... blah. I know I am in an overly-grumpy mood and I need to just take a deep breath and breathe. It just seems like everything that could go wrong, is.

Perhaps it has to do with the fact that I am at my "fattest" point I have been since I was pregnant. Yep. I feel like a beached whale and I am miserable. None of my clothes fit, and I am now being forced to buy the *gasp* fat clothes. I am sure you know what I am referring to--the clothes that you buy because you are down to two pair of pants that fit around your belly. The pants that will hopefully soon, you keep telling yourself, be at the back of the closet soon because they are too big. You are tired of doing laundry every two days because none of the other pants you own will fit over your thighs. You are tired of laying on the bed to try and get your pants buttoned, and once they are on you have a huge muffin top and can barely breathe. You pull down your shirt as far as you can, hoping to hide your "roll" from other people seeing it. You wear dark clothes that are supposed to hide "imperfections", but you still don't even want to look in the mirror because you are grose. Do you know that feeling? I describe it as my "winter coat". The fat that is needed to keep my body warm during the winter. :)

I keep telling myself that, "Once spring is here, I will be able to go outside and walk or jog or run." Whether or not I will actually do those things is a different story. But at this point, I am determined. No more BLT's (minus the L) for breakfast. No more large cokes with easy ice and extra limes for lunch. And no more eating out. Ok, ok... I'm getting carried away with myself. Who am I kidding. No eating out as much. There, that's better.

I think it also has had to do with some emotional things happening in my life lately. One of my dear scrapbook friends passed away. She was only 32 and had stage 4 breast cancer. She found the lump a few years ago, and has been fighting like a warrior ever since. She is one of the strongest women I know. She has 3 adorable children that I pray for daily. Connie was from Texas, and even though I only met her in person only once, our friendship over the world wide web was dear to me. She passed away from an asthma attack in her sleep. I pray for her children--that they know how much their mother loved them and how much she was loved. I pray for her sisters--that all 4 of them have the strength to make it through this difficult time. And I pray for her parents--I couldn't even imagine losing a child, and I hope that I never have to experience the devastation. She was such a creative, and strong person who left a lasting impression on a lot of hearts.

We also lost two pets the past week. You never really realize how much impact a little lizard and a fish can have on you. But after taking care of them for months, it is really sad when they are gone. "Lizard" passed away last week. I don't know what went wrong. I had found him and Nubby in our building at work . I caught them and bought a little cage for them. I even bought a rock that is supposed to go in an aquarium so they would have a place to hide. I put a bottle cap in there with water for them, and I regularly went to PetsMart to buy crickets to feed them. The other day I looked and Lizard wasn't moving. There was a cricket on him, so I knew he was dead. I put him in a little valentine's day box and Stephen buried him in the back yard. I was so sad I bawled. I didn't know what I did wrong... And then Monday I looked at Fishy the Fish and he was floating on the bottom on his side. I had changed his water on Sunday, and it seemed to have quite a few bubbles in it. The past two times I had changed his water, he seemed to get water shocked and it took him a couple of days to adjust. I treated the water as usual, and let it sit at room temperature before putting him in. I guess it was just too much for him. I had to flush the poor guy. I told Zoie that morning and she cried and cried. She asked, "So Fishy is dead like the lizard died?" Yes, Zoie. "He's dead like your scrapbook friend?" Yes, honey. "He's dead like Michael Jackson died?" Yes. They are all in heaven now. "Well maybe they can all play together then." Sigh. You gotta love the innocence of kids. The death was really hard on Zoie. She had a meltdown at daycare that morning, and mom had to sit outside her classroom with her for over 30 minutes. She seemed to do well after that, but I know that she just doesn't understand what is going on.

But on a good note, I have found a hobby that I adore and I feel I am pretty darn good at it. I bought some window panes and have been decorating them. I have my first customer! Yah!!! :) Her name is Sarah and she is my sister's friend. She wanted me to make a window that said "Always and Forever... No Matter What." I found some super cute curly swirly letters and they fit perfectly. I will have to post a better picture later. This one was from my Blackberry.


On a side note... do any of you watch the Bachelor? I am still in shock over him picking Vienna over Tenley. I mean, really?? What was he thinking??? Dumb, dumb boy!! My sister and I watched the 3-hour marathon of the final rose ceremony and after the rose... I was so livid. He gave up gold for pennies... We love you Tenley!! (And they chose Ali as the next bachelorette?? What are these people thinking??!)

My sister and I have been hanging out a lot lately, and I kinda like it. :) We've been having Girls Night Out on Fridays. We typically don't do much. A couple of weeks ago we had dinner at Spaghetti Warehouse downtown and went to opening night of Dear John, where we proceeded to bawl like babies. This past Friday we went to Mama Roja's on Lake Hefner for dinner, and then I worked on Sarah's window that night. I had never been to MR, but it was so good. We got a great table on the lake, and was able to watch the sunset in all its glory. It was a great dinner with great company!

Well, that's the latest. I'm sure there is a lot more I could tell you since I haven't blogged in what seems like a bagillion years. Oh yeah, and next Monday is my birthday. :( I will be 28. I feel like I am getting so old, and I can't believe my baby will be FOUR in June! Where has the time gone??! Can someone please catch it and bring it back to me?? I'd sure be much obliged.

(The boy is taking me to see Alice in Wonderland in Imax 3-D on Opening Night, and I am sure we will get some yummy grub before then. I guess I can't complain too much about a pre-birthday dinner.) *smiles*

Hopefully it won't be so long before I can blog again. Time just seems to be getting away from me. There are so many things I want/need to do, but I just get so swamped I don't get to them all. But until then... much love.

-Lindsay