It's Over Already??

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas with your family and friends and Santa brought you everything that you wanted.

My Christmas was really, really good. We went to my grandparents house on Christmas Eve, where we stuffed our faces with yummy brisket, potato salad, baked beans, macaroni and the works. We then played Dirty Santa and opened presents, and I finally got a full set of silverware that matches! :) I also got some kitchen knives and some much-needed dinero. Zoie got lots of goodies too, including a tea set which she loved. We all had a tea party, and the men joined in, too! She even got "tips" for being such a good hostess, so she banked at Christmas... literally!

Christmas Day was even better. We woke up early and opened presents. Zoie wasn't ready to get up as they stayed up and watched "Color Her Dress" as Zoie calls it, AKA Polar Express. haha She stayed up too late and we woke her up too early, so it took her a bit to realize what was going on. But once she woke up, she loved tearing into her presents, and mine, and my sister's, and my mom's... lol. She got tons of goodies--way too many to tell the truth. She even got a Dora Hot Wheels tricycle, but she will have to grow into it as her legs are still a little short. She also got books and Barbies and a Disney Princess sleeping bag. After she opened all of her loot, it was our turn. I got a really pretty votive lamp, mirror and book from my sister and her boyfriend. Mom and dad saved the best for last though... we got 32" flat screen TVs!! I couldn't believe it. There were tears in my eyes when they brought them out. I wasn't expecting something so great. I really needed it to replace my teensie-tiny TV that I got in Germany that doesn't even pick up channels! I was truly blessed.

Mom opened her "HOME" plaque and her cross mirror and loved them. She then opened her KitchenAid mixer that I got a GREAT deal on. She LOVED it. She was so happy as she has wanted one for a very long time. It was great to see her face when she opened it. It was priceless. Dad also opened his Celtic CDs that I got for him. He really liked them. He was sad he missed the Celtic Thunder on TV the other night, so I think he really was happy that I remembered that he liked them. He already saw his oars and lures that I got for him as I couldn't really "hide" them since they were so big. I wrapped a big bow around them and hung lures from them. He thought it was pretty clever... although he already bought some oars at Bass Pro Shops and didn't tell me. Oh well, he liked the idea. Then he opened his GPS. I will never forget the smile on his face. He seemed so happy. I was glad I was able to get people what they really wanted and deserved this year.

It was nice to have a couple days off of work. We did some after-Christmas shopping at Wal-Mart and our new SUPER Target! I got some great stuff on clearance for next year's Dirty Santa and also a couple presents. I was pretty stoked about that.

On Saturday we had Christmas on my dad's side of the family. We had 3 new babies in the family, so it was great getting to see all of them for the first time. We played Dirty Santa and opened presents. We all had a really great time. Zoie just played and played and wore herself out!

I had such a great weekend I can't believe Christmas is over already. I went back to work today and tried to play catch-up, as well as handle the mess from our "flood" last week that flooded all 7 floors when our air handler coil froze and busted. We literally had a waterfall from the roof of our building all the way down the side to the first floor. We had a restoration company come and tear our the drywall and extract the water, but now we have to get bids on carpet, paint, construction of drywall, etc. I was on the phone literally all day trying to get people out to give us estimates on the clean up. It is a huge nightmare and I will be glad when it is over!

Zoie was promoted in daycare today, too. She is now in the "older 2's" class. She was so happy to see her friends that had already promoted that she ran up and gave them each a hug. I wish I could have seen it. They are going to really start working with her next week on potty training too, so that is good. We haven't had much luck, so hopefully they will. :)

I got a call from DHS last week. They denied my daycare assistance and Zoie's insurance. They say that I make too much money to qualify for assistance, even though I don't get child support. I didn't even make $25,000 last year. However, they take your paystub and instead of multiplying it by two, they multiply it by like 2.15 or something, so that set me over. If they would just multiply it by 2 like they "should", I would still qualify. It is so frustrating. I don't know where I am going to come up with the money to pay for daycare or her insurance. I am going from paying $139 a month for FULL time daycare to $324 a month for PART time daycare, 3-days a week. And to add her to my insurance, the charge would go from $106 to $249. That is almost an extra $350!!! I'm just praying that things will work out and God will provide for us. I am really trying to give my daughter a good life, and it seems like these obstacles keep getting in my way. Hopefully everything will work out. My grandparents are going to watch her on Thurs. mornings and my mom will get her in the afternoon and on Fridays. So at least I have family to help me out. I am very fortunate there.

But that is all that is going on here. I am only working 2 days this week, then we get Wednesday and Thursday off for the holiday, and I am taking off Friday so that I can have a 5-day weekend. I am really excited about that!! :)

I hope everyone has a safe and Happy New Year!!

Love,

I wanted to share our "holiday family photo" with all of you. It took several tries to get photos of us smiling. From Zoie not having a nap and us just getting back from the mall where she did NOT like Santa, it was a huge task just to get Zoie to even sit down. We snapped a few pictures, but she finally got restless so we had to stop. After looking at them on the computer, of course I like me better in some pictures and her smile better in others. So I just decided to put my photo-shopping skills to work and combine the two. :) Now if you don't know what Photoshop is, it is an amazing program that allows you to manipulate photos and I took several classes in college on it. I was able to take out scratches, move people around in photos, etc.

But, since Photoshop is extremely expensive, I had to settle for good ole' Microsoft Paint to do the trick. I copied and pasted, and copied and pasted. I copied my face and pasted it onto another photo. I copied Zoie's hair, my shirt, necklace, etc. It took me a lot longer than it would if I had Photoshop, but I think the end results were pretty darn good if I do say so myself. lol You can't even really tell!

So, below is the final product of our slightly-edited Christmas photo. I hope you all have a very, merry CHRISTmas!!

With Love,

Lindsay and Zoie

My Bedroom!

Here is a photo of my bedroom! I love, love, LOVE the way it turned out. I wanted to share with everyone.

With Love,

Tag, I'm It!

I was tagged by the Lovely Suzanne :o) and so I thought I would play. Below are 7 unusual/random facts about yours truly...

1. I hate, hate, HATE to touch my feet on the bottom of a lake. I don't know about lakes where you are from, but good ole' Oklahoma is known for their red clay. I hate the way it feels when it squishes between my toes. I have a fear of stepping on a stick, hook, piece of glass, beer bottle cap, pointed rock, dead body... It gives me the absolute heebie jeebies. I will wear flip flops in the lake before I step in. My family makes fun of me because I will start wading and as soon as I can't see the bottom, I am totally doggy paddling. I am NOT touching the bottom of the lake. Ew. Gross.

2. Speaking of lakes... I can't swim. I even took swimming lessons when I was younger, but I just can't do it. I don't know why, but I don't float. I sink quicker than a rock. I panic when I can't touch the bottom. And the ironic thing is I can't stand to touch the bottom! I LOVE the lake too. I love fishing and swimming and skiing and knee-boarding and sea-dooing... but I have to have a life jacket on. Period.

3. I have a slight case of OCD. Yes, it is true. I can't stand for things to be out of order. I am constantly picking up the house now. You wouldn't be able to tell, but I don't like "clutter" and it stresses me out. And this is why I have an ulcer. lol I organize my DVDs alphabetically, I have to have things lined up in order. I guess you can call me Monica (from Friends), although I am not THAT bad.

4. I love to be creative, I just don't do it often enough. I love scrapbooking and card-making, but I am really insecure about it and don't think I am good enough. I get "crafter's block" and can't come up with ideas until I flip through magazines. I get frustrated with myself because I know I don't give myself enough credit. I need to give myself a goal for next year to be more creative and get somewhat caught up on my scrapbooking.

5. I love to be in love, but at the same time hate it. I always seem to attract the wrong type of guy and end up getting hurt. That is probably why I hadn't dated in over a year (besides the last boy). I am a very needy person when it comes to attention. I jump in "heart" first, and fall too fast. You think I would have learned my lesson by now, but I guess I haven't yet. lol I am too trusting, even when I shouldn't be... but at the same time I am always questioning things. That is probably what pushed the last guy away. lol I will probably be alone forever. :)

6. I LOVE Mexican food. It is my all time favorite. I could eat Mexican every day of the week. I love chips, salsa, tortillas, queso, guacamole, pickled carrots, enchiladas, tostadas... mmmm. My mouth is watering just thinking about it. Even when I was pregnant I would crave mexican food and would eat it even though I knew I'd be seeing it again later. lol To this day, even though I have an ulcer, I will eat me some Mexican food!!! I don't think I could give it up...

7. Zoie has changed my life in so many different ways. I don't know what I would do without her. I can't imagine not having her in my life. I know now that God gave her to me for a reason. I was headed down a path of destruction after my divorce, and even though she wasn't planned she has to be by far the best thing that has ever happened to me. She has given me love and happiness and joy that no one else could. I love her with all of my heart and I am so blessed to have her!

Here are the wonderful ladies that I will tag:

Heidi Dawson
Jennie Skaggs
Traci Beckner
Patty Lin
Rae Barthel
Annette King
Brittany Atwell (my sister)

Have fun!!!

That is what I keep telling myself. I know God will not give me more than I can handle, and I know that there is a reason for everything. However, sometimes it is difficult to understand what that reason is.

Over the past few months I have had my fair share of highs and lows. I've experienced a new-found love, and also experienced love lost. It's amazing how little time it takes for everything to fall apart. One week you are talking about getting married and moving in together, to the next week saying forever goodbye. I still question what exactly went so wrong, but all that I know is you can't make someone love you. You can cry, kick, scream and yell until you are blue in the face, but if their feelings aren't there then there isn't anything you can do. All that matters is that you loved with all of your heart and you pray that things worked out for the best.

I've also struggled with some health issues recently, mainly depression and anxiety. I had dealt with these issues before, but that was during a rough time in my life when I was going through my divorce. I guess the stress of a job, being a full-time single mom to a strong-willed, stubborn 2-year-old, buying a house and juggling "life" just got the best of me. I was also diagnosed with an ulcer, so I am taking medication for that as well. I got a horrible stomach bug on Thursday of last week, so I was out Thursday and Friday at home sick. My stomach is still not fully recovered, and I have very little appetite although I am starving. It's amazing what a little virus can do. I joked with my boss that people don't need to go on diets, they just need to get sick. My pants that were once too tight are falling off of me now. Ha ha.

Another issue I am dealing with is the wonderful world of DHS. I have been receiving assistance from them for things such as daycare, Zoie's health insurance and my well-woman insurance, although I no longer need mine since I have my own insurance with my job. I didn't add Zoie to my plan as I knew she was covered by the state and honestly, I just couldn't afford it at the present time. Well every November we get paperwork in the mail for recertification. We have to provide them with paystubs, letters of explanation, a copy of my house title since I just bought a house, any financial assistance we are receiving, our mother's maiden name, our first born child... ok, maybe not the latter two, but still. We have to give them a LOT of info. Well I got all of it gathered and mailed it in. I even explained to them why my addresses had changed, how I bought my house and gave them the break-down of my current bills and how I was even going by a budget now to make sure I could provide for myself and more importantly, my daughter. I didn't think anything of it until I opened my mail last night. They were revoking Zoie's daycare assistance AND insurance because apparently I make too much money!! I couldn't believe it. I thought that this was extremely ironic since a year ago exactly they took her daycare away because I was unemployed for too long and wasn't making any money. Now I make too much?? Well I got to work today and did some research on DHS and their requirements. I think the reason they denied my recertification was because on the two paystubs for October that I had to submit, I worked overtime those few weeks to get caught up at work. Well you can't make over $2425 a month, and apparently with my overtime I exceeded that amount. I called DHS to explain and they told me I would need a letter of explanation (yes, another one) from my boss explaining this and I would have to take it to their office, which was 45 minutes from my work. So I talked with Andrea and we drafted a letter telling them what I "normally" make, so I am praying very hard that this will resolve the issue and I can at least keep my assistance for one more year so I can get my finances in order. It just frustrates me that I am trying to better my life and give my daughter everything that she deserves, but yet I am being punished for succeeding. There are tons of people who mooch off of others and live off of their child support and don't work and qualify, but here I am not getting child support and working overtime to help us out and I get in trouble? Something is not right with that... So we will see. I am just keeping my fingers crossed that it will work out.

But I guess that is about it. It has been a very stressful and crazy two weeks. And to top it off, on Tuesday the roads were extremely icy and a truck swerved towards me to avoid another car. I tried to get over and in doing so, I lost control of my car and slid into the retaining wall on the highway. Luckily, God was watching out for me and the only damage that was done was on the tire. The tire saved my car from becoming a crunched up metal can. So you betcha I was saying my prayers that night!!

I hope everyone is doing better than I am at the moment. No, I'm not doing too bad. I am really trying to be optimistic. Things could be a lot worse. I know I am just at a rough patch right now. So please keep us in your prayers right now. I could really use them...

With Love,

You will never believe how much I paid for gas yesterday-- $1.37 a gallon! That is the lowest it has been in... well... I can't even remember when it was that low! In high school I remember I could fill my car up for less than $20, but that was almost 10 years ago. I filled my tank for $19.25. That was AFTER my Low Fuel light came on while I was driving home from work, so my car was REALLY empty. Not too long ago it was costing over $50 to fill up my car...

I guess you know you are getting old when you are actually excited about low gas prices. :)

Can you believe Thanksgiving has already come and gone? I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving and were able to spend it with the ones you love.

Our Thanksgiving was very interesting. Thanksgiving Day was great... we spent it at my grandma's house and visited with family who we hadn't seen in awhile. Zoie ended up staying the night with my parents afterwards so I could be one of the "crazies" that went shopping on black Friday. I woke up at 4:30 am and went to Wal-Mart, which I quickly regretted. There wasn't a parking spot in sight. I had to park behind the store and walk. All of the carts were gone, and I had to follow a lady to her car to get her cart from her. They started handing out items early (before 5 am), so I didn't even get what I was going for. I got some great toys for Zoie though, and a Christmas tree on sale, so I guess the 2-hour wait was worth it. Kind of. I then went back home and went back to bed for a bit. I was supposed to go pick up Zoie, but I saw an item in the Kohl's ad that I wanted to get for my mom. I got there and to my surprise, there was ONE left! I got a steal too. Without saying what it was (in case she happens to stumble upon this by chance and read it), it was regular $329, on sale for $179. Then there was a $20 mail-in rebate. On top of that, I got 15% off (saving me $25) and THEN I got $30 Kohl's cash! So I ended up only paying about $125 for it!! I know she will love it as she has wanted one for a long time. The hour-and-a-half wait was well worth it to me!!

However after arriving home, there was trouble. A pipe was leaking in my parent's house, so the carpet was wet in the bathroom and bedrooms. Dad immediately began cutting holes in the wall and ripping up the carpet to try and track down the leak. Unfortunately, he was unable to detect it, and in order to prevent an enormous mess, the water was turned off. That meant we couldn't cook, wash dishes, do laundry, wash our hands or use the restroom. Yikes! We were supposed to have my mom's parents and sister along with my sister and her fiance' over to the house for dinner. We couldn't even boil an egg!

So, I offered to have it at my house. We had to seriously improvise, as I didn't even have a full set of 4 piece silverware! So mom had to bring her silverware and card table, my grandparents brought serving spoons and we cut the turkey on my microwave's glass insert that rotates the food. It was very interesting, but it worked out great. We watched some Christmas shows on TV, and I put up my Christmas tree. We had a great time together.

Below is a picture of my pretty little pre-lit tree. I found a bunch of ornaments in my boxes out in the garage that I had purchased on clearance after Christmas last year. My tree is in silver, black, white and clear. I really think it turned out beautiful (and for only $25!)

Also, here is a picture of Zoie when she fell asleep. She had a long, hard day and when I came to check on her while she was playing in her room, I found her upside down in her bed zonked out. She looked so cute I just had to take a pic!

I hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving with your family and friends.

With Love,

Hospital Assistance

I received a blessing today and I had to share the news. Back in March I was hospitalized for an infection around my heart. I was having chest pains and felt like someone was sitting on my chest. I couldn't breathe and couldn't catch my breath, so I went to an after-hours clinic since I wasn't eligible for my insurance yet.

After arriving at the clinic and having chest x-rays and an EKG, he found an abnormality with my heart and told me I needed to go to the ER as soon as possible. I told him I didn't have health insurance and couldn't afford it. He said he wouldn't charge me for my visit but I had to go or he was going to put me on an ambulance and send me himself since I had signs of a heart attack.

After going to the ER, they diagnosed me with bronchitis and periocarditis, which is an infection around the heart. I was given breathing treatments, an inhaler and numerous medications to take.

I was dreading the gynormous hospital bill that was to follow. I received it a few weeks later and it was almost $2000. I just cried and cried. There was no way I could afford that. I contacted the hospital and they told me they did have a program that offered assistance to those in need. They would offer between 10 & 90% assistance depending on your needs. I thought it was worth a shot.

I filled out the paper work back in April or May and never heard anything. I called numerous times and they just kept telling me they had received my paperwork but hadn't processed it yet. So in the meantime, I started to pay about $50 each month towards the hospital bill and $25 towards my doctor's bill.

I hadn't received the doctor's bill in a couple months, and I didn't get one of my payments out for the hospital bill in September since it got lost in the move. I didn't really think much about it until my mom called today telling me I had received a letter in the mail from the hospital. I immediately started panicking. She asked me if I was behind on my payments, and I had told her that I was still paying the hospital but the doctor bills quit coming. I just knew it was a letter informing me that they had turned me over to collections or something. I asked my mom to open it and I joked, "It's probably them telling me that I didn't qualify for assistance and I have to pay out my bill..."

She laughed and said, "No. It says that after reviewing your file and paperwork we have decided to give you 100% assistance."

I was in shock. I couldn't believe it. I didn't have to pay on my hospital bill anymore. I just saved myself $1500 in bills that I was stressing out over how I was going to pay!

I really think God is watching out for me. He knows I am trying to better my life for me and Zoie, and I am doing the best I can to be a good mom to her. This is just one less thing for me to stress about and I can focus on giving Zoie what she needs.

Like the saying goes... God will never give you more than you can handle. That is definitely true.
Just had to share.

Zoie's Room!

Here are some pictures of Zoie's room. I am pretty much done with it. I put up her Z's and I have a couple more blank ones that I need to make, but I think it looks good. I arranged all of her books and toys on her bookcase. I think her room turned out really cute.

Also, below are some pictures of my kitchen. I put all of my photography books, cameras and equipment above my cabinets. I found some old film reels in our neighbor's trash (don't ask) and strung some film around the top too. I think it turned out really cute and different. I'm going to put up some of the pictures I have taken in the kitchen too.

I will post more of the other rooms at a later date.

Thanks for looking,

Halloween Fall Festival Photos

Can you believe it is already Halloween?? It seems like this year has FLOWN by. Before we know it, it will be Thanksgiving and then Christmas and then 2009!!

I have been extremely busy working on my house. The painting is done, except for the bathroom. The floors are installed and I got new carpet in the bedrooms. The only big thing that I need to do is finish the tiling in the vanity area and my closet. But other than that, the house is coming together beautifully. I found some amazing deals on furniture. I found a chair that was in the AS IS section of a local furniture store. It was regular $484 and I got it for $99. They said there was a "scratch" on it, but I had 3 people look and we couldn't find a mark. One salesman said that sometimes if people order them and change their mind, instead of restocking them they will say something is wrong and mark it down. I went back to the store a few weeks later and actually found a couch to match! It was regular $799 and I got it for $299. I did find a minor scratch on the leather, but it wasn't noticeable. They both look great with my dark wood floors. I got a new bed and ordered my bedding from Target. I absolutely love it. It is black and white damask. I found some adorable bird wall art and put it above my bed last night, and it looks so cute. I have already started hanging pictures on the walls and it feels so good to have my own "place". The kitchen looks great too with all of my antique cameras, film, books and photography supplies. I found an estate sale by my house with tons of stuff and it was so cheap. If I am patient, I can find some great deals on things. I'm just decorating a little as a time (as my budget allows) and eventually it will all come together.

I really love my new house. I didn't think I would like it this much, but I do. I was very hesitant about moving out, but I really like the freedom and the fact that I am making something of myself. I want Zoie to know that I am doing everything in my power to make our lives the best possible. I want her to be proud of her mommy and that I am trying to give her everything she deserves.

I will attach some pictures of my new house this weekend, hopefully. Below are a few pictures of Zoie from Halloween and the pumpkin patch.

I guess that is all for now. I hope everyone has a safe and "wicked" halloween!

Lots of Love,

My New HOUSE!

So much has happened over the past few weeks, and I have gotten behind on my blogging. I will try to catch you up on the latest.

I closed on my house on September 29th. There was a delay in the closing since I tried to get a loan through my credit union since they had a cheaper rate, but I ended up sticking with the current mortgage broker. They thought I was taking out another loan, so a red flag was thrown and we had to wait for them to give the all clear. I had to write a letter of explanation and everything, but it ended up working out and they handed me the keys at 4:30 pm!

I have already painted the living room, kitchen and utility room in a Camel color. We painted over the yellow in the top of Zoie's room white, and painted my bedroom and vanity area white as well. The white isn't covering very well though, so I am going to have to put another coat or two on my room and the vanity, but Zoie's room is done and looks great (except for the flooring). The spare room (aka my craft/computer room) is a nightmare in itself. We got the puppy dog/basketball wall border off and dad started to primer it last night. The blue is so dark that it is going to take a LOT of coats to get it covered. We ripped up all of the carpet in the house too, as that was the cause of the smell. It was a putrid, wet-dog smell and a sour smell in the whole house. It took your breath away when you walked in! I decided to go ahead and pull it all up. I am going to put down wood laminate in the living room and kitchen, and put down new carpet in the bedrooms and tile in my vanity area. It will be a little expensive at first, but I'd rather move in with most everything fixed now than have to do it after I move in with my furniture.

So the house is coming along nicely. Home Depot delivered my refrigerator and microwave on Saturday morning at 7:45 am. I didn't want to put them in the house until after I fixed the flooring. I still have to get a storm door for the back door and fix the broken seal. I also need to get some more blinds for my room and put up door stoppers on all of the doors. We have bleached the bathroom and the mold in the windows, and once we get the back door fixed it will keep water from coming back into the living room. We are going to bleach the floors where the mold was growing under the carpet before we put down the new flooring, so that way it will be clean. It wasn't AS bad as we had thought, but it was pretty bad. I think once we get it cleaned up it will be a lot better. We are all sick now because of stirring up the mold and dirt and dust and dog hair from the carpet. Our allergies and sinuses are a mess, but once we get it clean it should be a lot more sanitary. It was something that had to be done though before I could move Zoie in.

But I guess that is really all that is going on. I've just been spending every day at the house trying to get it fixed up to where we can move in next weekend! I still have to finish packing, but I wanted to wait until I got it ready before I packed away everything. This week we are going to finish painting and put down the flooring. We are going to hopefully start moving in next Saturday. I'm really excited and I will post some pictures soon of the progress. I forgot to take "before" pictures of the living room when it was white, but I got some of it being painted.

living room & kitchen

Zoie's room (before and after painting)

My room (before and after painting)

Computer/Craft Room after we took down the border (before painting)

I will keep you all posted. :)

Have a great week,

Dental Depot - Monday, Sept. 29, 2008

Aunt Tracie and Mommy took Zoie on her first trip to the dentist on Sept. 29, 2008 at Dental Depot in Yukon. She always loved seeing "Emily and Emily's Castle" (she thought the train out front looked like Emily from Thomas the Tank Engine and the Dental Depot has a steeple, so she always calls it Emily's Castle), so I thought it'd be fun to take her to the dentist there. I checked her in and while we were waiting, she enjoyed putting together train puzzles, playing with the toy trains and watching the trains go around the office on tracks.However, once we got to the dentist chair, Zoie was scared and wouldn't open her mouth. She pressed her lips together tightly and wouldn't let the dentist look inside. I guess she wasn't ready for the dentist yet, and he said as long as she was brushing her teeth good and everything looked fine, she should be good to wait another year. Maybe then she will let them actually check her teeth!